On the Menu Tonight: Karma with a Side of Irony
Sometimes you just have to love the universe. Last week, I got into an argument with a friend over a perceived slight. (My perception) Before the fight, I had a whole conversation in my head about what this person not done and even what they had not said. So into the conversation I went, ready for the fight. After all was said and done fight and all, I thought I had learned all that I needed to know about these types of occasions. Well, the universe wanted me to make sure that I really got this point.
Today, I had made what I considered an innocuous comment that really came back to bite me. Karma begins. Apparently this comment was mentioned to someone, who shared it with someone else and I was blasted via email. I’ve let this person down, violated some trust and my behavior was not appropriate. My first inclination was to apologize, which I did of course. (Did I mention that I am a middle aged, southern women) for any indiscretions on my part and that it was never my intention to hurt or disrupt any thing that was going on. Ok so far. Not sure of the end result, but I know it was an honest “mistake”.
My second thought was why didn’t they just call or reach out to me and simply ask. Ask, why did you say that, what was your motive (did you have one), etc. As soon as I thought that, the circle was closed and the irony of the situation became apparent.
Hadn’t I just done the same thing not two days ago? Hadn’t I just reacted to what I thought was an indiscretion or slight to me? Didn’t I perceive the person who had “slighted” me as the “other”?
Talk about getting hit in the head with a brick. How often do I look at you as the enemy? Even if we are friends or colleagues, am I ready to pounce on you whenever the situation arises? My defenses keep you always arms length away from me, as I am watching and waiting for you to do something that proves to me, you are not me – you are the “other”. I am now able the see the separation in me that keeps me from you. My thoughts about me bleed into my thoughts about you. I am one that can be harmed and you are the one that can harm me. I am powerless because you took my power.
The circle has closed but I am now open. Open to me standing in all that is me, smart, funny, and saying things I most likely shouldn’t. Open to you to react or respond to me, and meeting you where you are. Finally understanding that where you are has nothing to do with me and how you perceive me is simply your thoughts about me and really has nothing to do with me.
I stand simply in the truth that there is no me, there is no you, it’s simply we. And the power we have is the power we share that can’t be taken from either of us. The realization comes we are simply one.
Bonnie was inducted into the Order of the Sword & Shield National Honor Society at St. John’s University, New York City for her work in Business Resilience.
Bonnie is Past Chair of the Association of Contingency Planners where she served for 6 years.
She is a proud native of New Orleans and has experienced what she calls, “The Katrina, Rita, Ike, Gustav, and BP Oil Spill” disasters first hand. She has had to learn how being resilience leaders and businesses to increased performance, achieve stronger relationships, and build mental toughness that we all need in today’s ever increasing busy world.
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